


After

by LiraelClayr007



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Feels, M/M, Post-Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, ptsd (mention), someone is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 02:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16008242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraelClayr007/pseuds/LiraelClayr007
Summary: Seemingly unremarkable moments between Dean and Castiel--coffee in the morning, a salt-and-burn, a movie, a beer in the bunker. But through the right lens, to Cas, these moments are much, much more.





	After

Dean stumbles into the Bunker’s kitchen. “Mornings should be illegal.”

“I made coffee.” Cas hands him a mug.

“You’re an angel,” Dean says, cupping his hands around the mug and breathing in the awakening scent.

Cas rolls his eyes. “So I’ve been told.”

*

“Salt, Cas! Now!” Dean flails one arm toward Cas, pointing at the duffel bag that had been shoved behind a headstone in the scuffle, tries to fend off the extremely angry ghost with the other.

But the duffel was too far away. “Catch!” Cas shouts, and tosses the fireplace poker he’d been using as a weapon. Dean catches it and slashes through the ghost, all in one motion, his years of muscle memory taking over.

After the salt and the fire and the screaming ghost Dean turns his back on the flames. Into the darkness he says, “Cas, buddy, could you, uh, fill in the grave?”

Cas, puzzled, says, “Of course.”

Walking back to the Impala, looking everywhere but at Cas, Dean answers the unasked question. “Fire. It’s not my favorite thing since...since we had to…”

“Ah. Since you had to burn my vessel.”

Dean winces, bumps their shoulders together. “I’m just glad you’re back.”

*

“Don’t just stand there. Sit. And it’s okay to take off your coat, Cas. It’s a movie, not a board meeting.”

“Yes, Dean. It’s  _ Empire Strikes Back _ , which the two of us have watched together four times in the years we’ve known each other. Isn’t that enough?”

Dean huffs. “ _ Enough _ ? Are you serious? We will watch this  _ at least _ four more times together. Probably four _ teen _ . Or  _ forty _ -four. Now take off your damn coat, sit on the bed, and eat your molecule-flavored popcorn.”

“Whatever you say, Dean.”

When he turns to hang his trenchcoat on the back of the desk chair, he smiles a small smile.

“I have to eat the popcorn?”

Dean sets the bowl on Cas’s lap. “It’s not negotiable.”

*

Through the crowd, Dean catches Cas’s eye, nods toward the kitchen.

By the time Dean gets there Cas is already pulling two beers out of the fridge.

“Thanks,” Dean says. “Let’s get out of here, too many people. This place is big, but I’m used to just the few of us…”

They sit in the Impala; they don’t drive, just sit in the quiet of the garage. Dean runs his hands over the worn steering wheel, so familiar and comfortable. When the beers are gone they wait awhile, not saying anything. Once or twice Dean turns to look at Cas, then away.

“Did you want to talk about something?” Cas’s voice sounds deeper even than usual in the silence, like stones being dropped down a forgotten well. Dean’s eyes are almost pleading; a moment expands between them, straining, until it pops.

Dean’s grin is different, somehow, from his usual smile. “Naw. Let’s just go back to the party. They probably don’t know what to do without us.”

*

Cas stands in the doorway of Dean’s bedroom, looking at the bed but not seeing it. His arms hang limp at his sides and, held tight in one hand, a worn flannel shirt. Every memory that passes through his mind gives him both joy and despair.

That’s the thing. You never know it’s the last time until after.

And then it’s too late.

**Author's Note:**

> First...please don't hate me. *ducks*
> 
> Second...I didn't tag this as "major character death" because I honestly didn't mean it that way when I wrote it. I imagine Cas having dark days after Dean says yes to Michael, and that on the worst of those dark days he has moments he believes Dean is gone for good. This is one of those moments.


End file.
